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Showing posts from May, 2014

End of a Degree. (*Trigger Warning)

Author's Note: This post talks about suicide and suicidal thoughts – some people may find this upsetting. If you're unsure about whether or not to read further, please don't.



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I've finished my exams now. Degree over. I don't know what I've got yet, but I did some maths and in all likelihood I've got a high 2:1. Not bad I guess when you factor in chronic depression.

I've begun to have quite loud suicidal thoughts. Obviously, I wouldn't be writing about this if said thoughts weren't under control; this is not a cry for help, a request for sympathy or a public suicide warning. I'm simply choosing to talk about something that I don't think people talk about often enough.

It's odd, but I've assumed for a long long time that at the end of my degree I would commit suicide. I don't know why it made sense in my head to wait until my degree was over, but it seemed reasonable to me that getting my BA was the last milestone before deat…

Guardian Article!

I was recently interviewed by the Guardian - http://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/may/08/students-dont-understand-depression .

So, I know I haven't kept up with writing or Vlogging but I had a TONNE of deadlines for essays this week. So sorry, I'll get back on it soon!

I'll share a little story as a massive "screw you" to certain people though (NOT an angry rant, I promise, you'll see):

So I didn't go home over Easter because I was absolutely determined to get my final deadline in on time, no extensions, like a "normal" student. It took lively a lonely life for four weeks but I got my 12-13,000 words done! (Sorry to people who regularly do stuff like this - I know it's not that bad at all, it was just a massive personal achievement to me :) ).

Unfortunately, on the day I had a massive panic attack when a printer started playing up in the library half an hour before the hard copy deadline. I'd already submitted all of my work electro…